How to Lose Fans and Alienate Audience?
Movies — By Ajay Nair on February 8, 2012 12:24 pm
Stars are a pampered lot; by the producers and film industry as well as the audience. But there certainly comes a time when they take their status to unbelievable moments. Moments filled with embarrassment galore if the so called stars go through these films again and if not for anything else in the world, I would love to interview and ask them the experience of working in it. Like after any major calamity or event where the news channels pop up a question to the family of those deceased or survivors who went through hell; even I would want an access to cheap thrills by posing a query.
Aamir Khan & Juhi Chawla both acted in Tum Mere Ho as follow up to their successful QSQT which even had a majority of its cast & crew remaining same. But unfortunately it was directed by Aamir’s own dad Tahir Hussain and proved to be the worst gift a father can give to his son. It’s a laugh riot with snakes, child weddings, Icchadari Nagin and everything under the sun that defies logic. Juhi Chawla’s reaction to Aamir’s sapera act and been bajana is the stuff legends are made of, where she cries and craves on hearing that sound as if it is hitting her G spot for an orgasm.
Salman Khan, the superstar that he is right now never believed in himself as an actor and remains quite unapologetic about it too. So discussing about him for his performance in movies will be a great disregard to that profession. So it is his attempt at screen writing that deserves a special mention which includes an atrocious mindfuck called Chandramukhi. Fantasy meets Sci-Fiction as Salman is transformed from a 9 year old boy to a well-built man by Sridevi and her powers that a magic leaf she possesses. Add up some goons to provide the thrills and we have a classic which can even put Hollywood to shame for its grandeur and gloss in this genre.
That Shah Rukh Khan hams as an actor is not a big deal though he has improved in the course of time in last decade or so. Going back to the past his countless fans should be willing to give a chance on his masterstroke of a performance in a movie called Guddu. A film where brain tumour, blindness, religion, atheism & eye donation amalgamates to form an epic, it has to be seen to be disbelieved. Every actor worth his salt tries to prove his capability and ability to outperform each other with horrendous acting which constitutes Mukesh Khanna, Deepti Naval & Manisha Koirala. The certified film where one can torture your enemy to death with eyes wide open without resorting to any blood or gore.
Picture this. A man refuses to remove his dark shades till he confronts the tormentor who was responsible for killing his family and some reason in turning him blind. Being donated eyes from another victim, Ajay Devgan roams around in his trademark bike (seen in all films during 90’s) with his goggles on and his ultimate search to catch up with Danny Dengzongpa. Hilarious to induce a stomach ache for its unintentional comedy, Vijaypath is also remembered for a song which gave our Indian cricket team some sleepless nights with its lyrics which went, “Kal saiyaan ne aisi bowling kari, ek over bhi main khel payi nahin….Chauthe hi gend mein out hui, panchva gend mein khel payi nahi.” Listen to the full song here.
Dancer, Mr. Bond, Paandav and every film Akshay Kumar acted deserves a standing ovation in ridiculousness but for me the movie which wins it hands down has to be International Khiladi. Hamfest of the highest order; here Twinkle Khanna, Rajat Bedi(he once proclaimed that he will be the next Akshay Kumar), Vivek Shaq and Gulshan Grover go on rampage with the maturity of national viewers. Thankfully a right decision was taken by Dimple Kapadia in getting both Twinkle and Akshay married, before he flew over this nest.
Hrithik Roshan stormed the silver screen in his debut Kaho Na Pyaar Hai along with Ameesha Patel. The craze at movie halls was feverish and he remains the last of the actors whose poster cards were sold like hot cakes before internet wallpapers and images took over. Untill Aap Mujhe Ache Lagne Lage happened to both. Vikram Bhatt directs this painful film about love in the times of Navratri where Ameesha gives an asthmatic performance always terrified in stressed situations and Hrithik as a zombie in the climax. Both of them can even chill the horror fans who rarely get scared with that genre. Sit with a nebuliser in case you catch up with this on TV.
Anil Kapoor is among the rare actors of Indian cinema who started off in character roles and went on to become a superstar in the late 80’s. Always a commendable performer and never grating on nerves, Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain remade from some obscure Telugu film has Kajol supporting him to give a bombastic cracker. Playing an NRI who returns to India and later gets married with a contract on trial basis of 1 year, this regressive piece of cinema is destined to ensure that one stays away from marriage for a long time. Even though you don’t have the patience to view this movie in entirety, try this particular song for the visuals, unheard of lyrics and performances which may give you a chance to roll on the floor laughing out loud especially at the end where Anil Kapoor is shivering with cold.
No film has put my very inactive and uncomplicated brain to depths of doubts questioning my own existence as much as Rudraksh when it released around 2004. To decode this film requires a special talent which deals in Vedas, Rudrakshas, Mantras and all spiritual terms in the history of mankind. Sanjay Dutt, gifted with special healing powers that uses non touch massage technique and Bipasha Basu as a scientist team up against Sunil Shetty as a demon and Isha Koppikar as his accomplice for an assault on our senses which we never recover from. India’s answer to Matrix, Wachowski brothers will pronto stop film making if this mind blasting piece of crap is ever shown to them.
Surely there are more such cinematic gems from the mainstream cast but have intentionally not included the Floppiya list of actors which deserves and leaves for a discussion only here. This post is more than open for a debate and discussion about movies which are yet to reach any cult status a la Jaani Dushman or Gunda and suggestions will always be welcome. Attack the Blog.
Aap Mujhe Ache Lagne Lage was a slap on the face of all the people who went&watched it in the theatre including me. I think the 300 ml bottle of Thums Up that I had in the interval ( I still remember it ) was the best thing I can remember about the whole experience.Amisha in particular with her asthmatic shrieks broke all hamming records. Guddu was a classic&one of the rare SRK movies I avoided in theatre leaving my friends confused as to how I could miss it
Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain did well in all versions- Telugu ( Pavitra Bandham ),Tamil ( Priyamaanavale ) and Hindi. A truly cringe worthy film- the Patni Pati ke liye song is extremely hilarious now when I listen to it. But I’ll differ on Vijaypath,it was a typical early 90′s masala entertainer and at least had some good music for those days. While Ruk Ruk Ruk was a runaway hit,Raah Mein Unse Mulaqat Ho Gayi and Sagar Sang Kinare Hain can still be listened to even today!!!
@Sethu: Thums up mein Rum hota toh you would have endured the pain less
Even I missed Guddu in the movie hall as it released with another SRK classic, ‘Oh Darling Yeh Hai India’ and both are on same platform though Guddu is just inches ahead.
HADMRH was definitely a hit but can’t stand it for a second and even Shankar Mahadevan would have been embarrassed singing that song.
Vijaypath though i know had decent songs barring the Saiyyan bowling one, but leaves me baffled for that revenge oath…Which means nahane, dhone aur sone mein bhi woh goggles pehenta tha….
12ka 4 for me. i went there cause my friends did April Fool on me and said they will be in the theatre. They werent there so I went to prove a point. Oh my god! Other movies I would say is Rajkumar by Anil. Epic. I have not seen Mela by Aamir. The list goes on…..
@Badri: Hmmm 1 2 ka 4 is manageable anyday for me….But yes Rajkumar, Mann, Mela are ultra disasters of the highest order and deserves a group watch…
Ajay Devgan has graduated from terrible stuff in the 90s to real good stuff in the 2000s. It is truly amazing.
Singham?Good stuff? *needs a rum coke*
Ya singham was over-the top, but his Prakash Jha films in the 2000s are good. The Legend of Bhagat Singh is probably his best performance. I feel it is quite a climb from the absolutely crass stuff in the 90s.
Good post Ajay!
I havent seen all the films in theatre but yes I have seen most of them on cable and I agree Guddu is the most horrible of all movies.
But you are partial.How can you forget the greatest actor Sunil Shetty’s movies?
Ajay Devgan continues to Torment us by acting in films like Dil to baccha hai ji,Singham and the greatest epic ever Cash.
I wanted to watch Rudraksh but I suppose it was released around valentine day so there was a mad rush for tickets.so had to miss that epic.
Pagle…Hasayega kya…
Sunil Shetty automatically make it in the list of the link i have given… Flopiya Stars…
Dude you forgot to mention two of the greatest Sallu miyas epics
Veer and the one legendary film called Sawan(not sure if that is the real name of the film) where in he has premonitions about almost everything in life.This film can be in the league of Gunda.
Also Biwi no 1-This film was incredibly weak and there was not a single genuine laugh in the film
Sunil Shetty is a super flopiya star.
Dude as mentioned, my intention was to pick the worst of the best each and so i have not picked every trash in the history of Hindi cinema where even the cyber space will be few to ponder thoughts….All your mentioned flicks have been left for discussion….
Waah…Mazaa aa gaya. You have taken a lot of pains to choose the truest classics amongst dozen anmol heeras.Every other film mentioned is a classic. I have not been able to watch the epic Rudraksh from start to end. My loss entirely i know. And I soon need to make up for it.One Suniel Shetty epic that deserves a mention for sure in such a list is Annarth & Rakth. Especially for the acting talents displayed by Mr Shetty.
Will keep in chipping with my reccos for this list as and when I remember.
Thanks for reminding us of that epic song from Vijaypath. I had forgotten it long time back. I think it should be made the official anthem of the Indian Cricket team.
Have you heard that song from Anarth wherein the legendary cricketer Kambli says “Whiskey pila de mujhe Indian Brand ki”?
Anarth also has that super song “Bewafa bar main”
Waah…Mazaa aa gaya. You have taken a lot of pains to choose the truest classics amongst dozen anmol heeras.Every other film mentioned is a classic. I have not been able to watch the epic Rudraksh from start to end. My loss entirely i know. And I soon need to make up for it.One Suniel Shetty epic that deserves a mention for sure in such a list is Annarth & Rakth. Especially for the acting talents displayed by Mr Shetty.
Will keep in chipping with my reccos for this list as and when I remember.
Have you heard that song from Anarth wherein the legendary cricketer Kambli says “Whiskey pila de mujhe Indian Brand ki”?
Anarth also has that super song “Bewafa bar main”
@Rasik
Yes I agree!I loved Legend of Bhagat singh.Also his acting in films like Gangajaal,Aparahan,Omkara was very good.
Ajay Devgan is a a super actor no doubt about it but his choice of films are way obscure.
His movies like Parwana,Cash,RGV ki AAG,London Dreams(check out Sethu sirs post on this one if its available),DTBHJ makes me feel that something seriously is wrong in his head when he chooses films.
@Rasik
Yes I agree!I loved Legend of Bhagat singh.Also his acting in films like Gangajaal,Aparahan,Omkara was very good.
Ajay Devgan is a a super actor no doubt about it but his choice of films are way obscure.
His movies like Parwana,Cash,RGV ki AAG,London Dreams(check out Sethu sirs post on this one if its available),DTBHJ makes me feel that something seriously is wrong in his head when he chooses films.
Pagle…Hasayega kya…
Sunil Shetty automatically make it in the list of the link i have given… Flopiya Stars…